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lightreadsAll Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood
3/5. A survey of the effects of children on their parents and caregivers. Includes the somewhat depressing stuff we've probably all heard – how children make marriages less happy. This book reviews the literature, questions some of its methods, profiles parents, and asks some interesting questions about how we really ought to think about this. If it is true that parents rate their happiness lower in moments of parenting, but remember the events more glowingly and are happier in retrospect, is that a bad thing? It's not like the memories are any less real.
Anyway, this is interesting, though the profiles ranged from fascinating to frustrating. Of course the woman trying to start a small business from scratch with three children under five at home with her all day feels a lack of autonomy and time management.* I mean…yes. That is not a kids problem. That is a money problem. I do particularly recommend the chapter on teens. Maybe it's that I've not spent any real time thinking about this, but the insights into why parenting teens is particularly fraught and particularly rewarding in terms of parent identity were interesting.
*Break for crying baby, diaper change, feeding, thoughtful staring at a lamp.
3/5. A survey of the effects of children on their parents and caregivers. Includes the somewhat depressing stuff we've probably all heard – how children make marriages less happy. This book reviews the literature, questions some of its methods, profiles parents, and asks some interesting questions about how we really ought to think about this. If it is true that parents rate their happiness lower in moments of parenting, but remember the events more glowingly and are happier in retrospect, is that a bad thing? It's not like the memories are any less real.
Anyway, this is interesting, though the profiles ranged from fascinating to frustrating. Of course the woman trying to start a small business from scratch with three children under five at home with her all day feels a lack of autonomy and time management.* I mean…yes. That is not a kids problem. That is a money problem. I do particularly recommend the chapter on teens. Maybe it's that I've not spent any real time thinking about this, but the insights into why parenting teens is particularly fraught and particularly rewarding in terms of parent identity were interesting.
*Break for crying baby, diaper change, feeding, thoughtful staring at a lamp.
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Date: 2019-10-16 07:39 pm (UTC)I feel kinda negative about early babyhood; I don't really think newborn babies are that cute and they don't really respond to you at all, and they just eat and sleep and poop and I started becoming down about how my worth as a person was at this time was validated only by how much milk I could produce. Hey, wow, I am apparently still bitter about all of this.
Six weeks, when they can smile? Then it started getting substantially better, at least for me (although more with second kid than first, because first still didn't smile at me).