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No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame by Janet Lansbury
3/5. Pretty sure this is just a republish of a bunch of articles from her website with some extra organization. Useful if you know what you are getting into with respectful parenting types and can take or leave things. E.g., no, Janet Lansbury, I will not stop wearing my toddler because he loves it and it helps him refill his connectedness buckets at the end of the day, even though you think it unduly restrains his body or whatever. I don't even know what her real objection to babywearing is, I just, for pity's sake.
But the thing is her general philosophy – set boundaries clearly and calmly, be consistent, explain, connect, slow down, lean into big feelings – is basically our style instinctively, so there are some useful parts here for helping us think through things. And she's annoyingly dead right on occasion. I bookmarked the bit where she's talking about handling toddler resistance to things like nail cutting and her suggestion is to get your toddler to participate by asking which nail to clip first. I recounted this to my wife and we laughed because LOL, for real, we have been low-level fighting him on this for months. He's a pretty chill little guy, but he brings out the big "no!" for that, and her suggestion is just so ridiculous.
…Then we tried it. And it worked? Damn it.
3/5. Pretty sure this is just a republish of a bunch of articles from her website with some extra organization. Useful if you know what you are getting into with respectful parenting types and can take or leave things. E.g., no, Janet Lansbury, I will not stop wearing my toddler because he loves it and it helps him refill his connectedness buckets at the end of the day, even though you think it unduly restrains his body or whatever. I don't even know what her real objection to babywearing is, I just, for pity's sake.
But the thing is her general philosophy – set boundaries clearly and calmly, be consistent, explain, connect, slow down, lean into big feelings – is basically our style instinctively, so there are some useful parts here for helping us think through things. And she's annoyingly dead right on occasion. I bookmarked the bit where she's talking about handling toddler resistance to things like nail cutting and her suggestion is to get your toddler to participate by asking which nail to clip first. I recounted this to my wife and we laughed because LOL, for real, we have been low-level fighting him on this for months. He's a pretty chill little guy, but he brings out the big "no!" for that, and her suggestion is just so ridiculous.
…Then we tried it. And it worked? Damn it.