Keeping It Real by Justina Robson

Keeping It Real by Justina Robson

My rating: 2 of 5 stars


The one where Lila the cyborg spy with emotional issues is assigned to protect an elf rock star in post quantum-bomb multi-dimensional reality.



This is a spaghetti book. As in “throw the spaghetti at the wall an see how much of it sticks.” Except when Robson threw an elf conflict, a rock star, spy agendas, soul bonds, demons, and quantum physics, somehow it all stuck. It’s not that Robson doesn’t have cool ideas – she does. The setup alone with five alternate earth dimensions split off from one quantum disaster in Texas, but whose historical records insist they’ve always been separate? Fucking cool.



But Robson is just so frantic to get everything! Up! On the wall! That she can’t spend more than a few paragraphs on an idea, and the whole thing disintegrates into an unholy howling din of shallow science fantasy jibber-jabber. Feh.





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Primary Inversion by Catherine Asaro

Primary Inversion by Catherine Asaro

My rating: 1 of 5 stars


Space empire ruled by royal telepaths something opposing empire of evil sexual sadists something soulbond something something boring space battles.



I don’t object to getting some romance in my scifi (or even some scifi in my romance, sometimes). It just helps if one or the other is, uh . . . good. This is terrible, amateurish scifi full of narcolepsy-inducing descriptions of how every stupid little piece of technology works. And it’s also a cardboard romance where all the actual authorial work and interesting character development is bypassed in favor of an instantaneous soulbond. So much easier, you know, when you can skip all the getting to know you, all the building attraction, the growing reader investment, all the self-discovery and important choices to be made, and instead stick in a few paragraphs about how their minds melded, amiright?



Vague gesture at bonus points for attempting to deal with post rape trauma, but just . . . no. This isn't even funny bad.





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The Damned Busters by Matthew Hughes

The Damned Busters by Matthew Hughes

My rating: 2 of 5 stars


[Advance reader copy – the book is due out at the end of May].



I bounced hard off this one. And it’s not because I read in audio without access to the art. No, we were actually doing really good for the first quarter with the story of a hapless, nerdy (as opposed to geeky, I know my classifications thank you) actuary who accidentally summons a demon and causes a labor strike in hell. It was funny, it was whacky, it was sneakily quite sharp about good and evil, the writing was crisp.



And then the whole thing jolted sideways into stupid self-indulgent masturbatory superhero fantasies. I had a sinking feeling when the blonde bombshell appeared, flipped forward, went hell no, and backed away fast.



I could unpack why this went so suddenly toxic. I could talk about how incredibly fucking over I am these sorts of self-consciously self-mocking books about geeky sci-fi nerds who want to be superheroes, but when they get a chance to it’s not as easy as it looks and they have embarrassment squicky adventures but through accident and cleverness end up getting the keys to the city and access to the walking vagina of-the-moment anyway. I could talk about how what I find most obnoxious is the underlying narrative of power, how this white, middle-class, well-educated guy feels so oppressed and powerless and emasculated, and how he gains power by hitting some people and sticking his dick in someone. I could talk about how this feel-good redemptive underdog crap is actually a deeply toxic story that lets a bunch of privileged people feel smug and authentically downtrodden.



But I am so over this book in all of its seventeen thousand incarnations, I can’t even be fucking bothered to finish it and confirm my worst suspicions from the forward glances I took.





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Lady of Quality by Georgette Heyer

Lady of Quality by Georgette Heyer

My rating: 2 of 5 stars


So close, but no. I could have loved this one – our heroine is not a fluttering 18-year-old, but a secure, independent woman of 29. And when the hero finally asks her to marry him, she says, get this, that she isn't sure, and then they have a mature conversation about how difficult it would be for her to give up her space and her freedom. Can you imagine?



But then the whole thing comes to a splintery end with no real conclusion aside from their inevitable engagement. And the really weird thing: Heyer usually has at least one disruptive or frustrating character, someone humorless or not so bright or too talkative or too fussy. But that person is treated kindly, with amused compassion and affection. Except for this one – the heroine’s lady companion -- who is just loathed and loathsome. It was odd and jarring, and not like Heyer.





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Rivers of London by Ben Aaronovitch

Rivers of London by Ben Aaronovitch

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


Now this was a breath of fresh air. Which I guess sounds funny if I mention it’s an urban fantasy about a somewhat bumbling cop who takes a witness statement from a ghost and ends up as the apprentice to the last wizard in England. But seriously, this was a breeze of competence and sanity in a welter of bad books.



I think the most important thing is that it’s funny. Not like first person urban fantasy funny, but actually funny. And our protagonist (first person, natch) is great: he’s one of those smart guys who comes across as pretty loopy most of the time, and I completely believed the way he talked about women and his mixed race and just. *hand gestures*.



Also, the mystery is cool and creative and genuinely horrifying, and there’s this whole thing with the personified rivers that is just great. I’m bubbling, I know, but goddamn I needed a good book.



I am a leetle bit worried about how some consequences and complications will be handled in the sequel, but that's just because I'm a suspicious cuss.



Note: Book sold as Midnight Riot in the U.S.



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