This book has some truly terrifying stories of congruences found in twins raised apart. Like the pair that had never met, but married women with the same name and named their children (and dogs!) the same thing. They lived a hundred miles apart, so okay, cultural influences, but still, yiiiiiikes.

Which is probably hard to figure out from a sperm/egg bank,

Yes. It's actually infuriating -- you can sort by astrological sign (seriously) but not, say, sexual identity. Let alone the other intangibles that would actually matter to me, which are a lot like yours. So you're left reading these weird mini essay answers. Oh, that one literally can't come up with a single funny story when prompted, pass. A friend told me she used a system which excluded any donor who said something even a little negative about his mother. That's a pretty good one. But what you're left with is narrowing the pool by something that matters only incidentally to you like height, and then picking or discarding someone based on very little information and gut. Which I suppose is not unlike reproductive sorting in the dating pool, lol.