The reason I'm not out at work has nothing to do with being afraid I'll be gaybashed, or even that I won't be promoted, let me just put that out there. It's that I'd rather not be the queer person first and the human being second, thanks not so fucking much.

Oh, yes so much to this, and thanks for putting it so eloquently. I'm not out at work either, which is partly personal reticence but mostly the knowledge that all the nice but narrow-minded and very conventional people I currently work with would just not deal with my being bi at all well. As you say, they wouldn't stone me, but every single interaction would be coloured by it, and they'd stop seeing me as anything other than a stereotype (also, they'd be convinced that this "explains how I am", which is something that always makes me appallingly twitchy).

Fortunately in two weeks' time I start at a new workplace where I would be happy to tell people (for a start, the head of department is in a same-sex relationship, but more importantly she's put a lot into having a department that is welcoming and flexible). I hope your environment shifts eventually as well.

(also, I am ironically amused by the comment thread above this one, as I am back in a holding pattern and totally in a state of egg deficit. Arrgh.)