A month later, after our heroine has moved, dealt with all the sperm things, etc.
Yes, I hear you on the potential child's interest in genetic parentage. That was one big rule for me on day one of this whole thing -- we will tell the truth early and often, even before the kid can really grasp it, so that when questions do come up, there won't be any surprises. You've probably seen some of the same literature I have about the children of anon donors feeling later in life that they are missing something crucial. To say nothing of the importance of the health information you can get when you know where you came from. My insistence on transparency is partly about that, as much as just wanting to, you know, be able to tell the truth.
Interestingly, in the U.S., you now pay a premium for identification of donors, at least in sperm. I happened to see that the other day -- vials from the identity-release program at the cryobank handling our sperm samples are like $100 more than the anon vials. It appears to be opt-in on the part of the donor, and a smaller population, but increasingly desired by some people for *gestures* all the reasons. Also a way for the sperm banks to make more money which, well, i have a lot of negative feelings about these particular guys right now so don't get me started.
Egg donation is, of course, increasingly common. And I realized just as I was writing this that one of the regular commenters on these reviews was an egg donor for a clinic in my city late last year. I bet she was anonymous, but now I want to ask.
Personally, I wouldn't choose an anon donor, but it's for a different flavor of reasons. I don't think I'd be particularly happy with an identity-release donor, either, though I'd do it if it was the only real choice. Let's call it control tendencies but I just . . . I want to know him as more than an essay, you know? (And the emphasis on the photos in the catalogs leaves me cold, for obvious reasons). I'd want to know how he treats animals when no one is looking, and what his mom is like, and what books he reads. Not in a creepy way just . . . I like knowing things. And it drives me absolutely insane that making that choice not to use a sperm bank donor at all comes with a huge financial premium and a really unbelievable amount of skepticism from everyone who thinks it's their business. Anyway. Rant. It hasn't come up, but I imagine I'd feel the same about an egg donor.
If you ever do decide to pursue egg donation, let me know. I can recommend a U.S. clinic that does international treatments and is very reputable, with extremely rigorous screening. They do the shared egg cycles where you can choose to divide between one or two other recipients, or take them all. I know they have a pretty big population of donors because they do so many cycles, but I think identity-release is on a case-by-case basis with the donor, so I'd imagine it's a much smaller selection who opt in to that, though. And if you eventually chose that route, at least you would not be under the gun timewise -- I know they regularly do egg donor cycles with women in their late forties to early fifties. Anyway. Just let me know if you ever come to a place where you want more information.
no subject
Yes, I hear you on the potential child's interest in genetic parentage. That was one big rule for me on day one of this whole thing -- we will tell the truth early and often, even before the kid can really grasp it, so that when questions do come up, there won't be any surprises. You've probably seen some of the same literature I have about the children of anon donors feeling later in life that they are missing something crucial. To say nothing of the importance of the health information you can get when you know where you came from. My insistence on transparency is partly about that, as much as just wanting to, you know, be able to tell the truth.
Interestingly, in the U.S., you now pay a premium for identification of donors, at least in sperm. I happened to see that the other day -- vials from the identity-release program at the cryobank handling our sperm samples are like $100 more than the anon vials. It appears to be opt-in on the part of the donor, and a smaller population, but increasingly desired by some people for *gestures* all the reasons. Also a way for the sperm banks to make more money which, well, i have a lot of negative feelings about these particular guys right now so don't get me started.
Egg donation is, of course, increasingly common. And I realized just as I was writing this that one of the regular commenters on these reviews was an egg donor for a clinic in my city late last year. I bet she was anonymous, but now I want to ask.
Personally, I wouldn't choose an anon donor, but it's for a different flavor of reasons. I don't think I'd be particularly happy with an identity-release donor, either, though I'd do it if it was the only real choice. Let's call it control tendencies but I just . . . I want to know him as more than an essay, you know? (And the emphasis on the photos in the catalogs leaves me cold, for obvious reasons). I'd want to know how he treats animals when no one is looking, and what his mom is like, and what books he reads. Not in a creepy way just . . . I like knowing things. And it drives me absolutely insane that making that choice not to use a sperm bank donor at all comes with a huge financial premium and a really unbelievable amount of skepticism from everyone who thinks it's their business. Anyway. Rant. It hasn't come up, but I imagine I'd feel the same about an egg donor.
If you ever do decide to pursue egg donation, let me know. I can recommend a U.S. clinic that does international treatments and is very reputable, with extremely rigorous screening. They do the shared egg cycles where you can choose to divide between one or two other recipients, or take them all. I know they have a pretty big population of donors because they do so many cycles, but I think identity-release is on a case-by-case basis with the donor, so I'd imagine it's a much smaller selection who opt in to that, though. And if you eventually chose that route, at least you would not be under the gun timewise -- I know they regularly do egg donor cycles with women in their late forties to early fifties. Anyway. Just let me know if you ever come to a place where you want more information.